Thursday, January 21, 2010
went to work at nus. when its abt lunch time. russell came and chat with me on msn. he said heard that u break up with man oled. u ok ma? and my world came crashing down on me. i was still ok in the morning. i still can do my work. till he said this to me. i was staring at the comp, donno what i should do next. and tears starts to come back again. these two days i managed to feel better. and able to do things. one sentence from russell abt him crash whatever i have tried so hard to built for these past weeks. im still devasted. i din know he wanted the whole world to know so much abt what happen between us. i thought i still have hope. no im wrong. so wrong. why he can treat it as nth happen and carry on with his life? why cant i do the same too. now i feel that whatever he does, is just that he's feeling guilty. not because he loves me anymore. is that the truth? am i being stupid doing all these things now? i don know. but when i tell him abt now i know hw much he wanted to whole to know, he said that we 3 are close. so he tell him. he said that he only tell russell. telling a person that u feel so close, does it mean that there's no more hope between the both of us. is it? my headache doesnt go away. i miss him a lot. i love you.
